The Current Status on Gender Norms

A friend sent me this article, saying it “might be a useful reference for your blog… but beware, it is enraging.” She was right on both accounts.

Even though I knew what I was getting into, thanks to her preface, this article still blew me away. In particular, the fact that many couples who were interviewed separately had VERY different opinions of their at-home situations. 

The most shocking part of the article comes at the very end: 

Division of labor in the home is one of the most important gender-equity issues of our time. Yet at the current rate of change, MenCare, a group that promotes equal involvement in caregiving, estimates that it will be about 75 more years before men worldwide assume half of the unpaid work that domesticity requires.

If anything is going to change, men have to stop resisting. Gendered parenting is kept alive by the unacknowledged power bestowed upon men in a world that values their needs, comforts and desires more than women’s. It’s up to fathers to cop to this, rather than to cop out.

“What ‘Good’ Dads Get Away With” by Dr. Darcy Lockman, for the New York Times

75 years?!?! If a new generation comes about an average of every 25 years, that’s THREE MORE GENERATIONS who will live on earth without gender equality. That’s my son, my grandkids and my great grandkids.

After reading this, my mind was blown. And I was definitely enraged, as my friend had suggested I would be. But more than that, I felt defeated. I (temporarily) felt like the work of previous generations and the work of my generation was for nothing. And that there’s no way a little blog like this could make any impact on this enormous issue. 

But then I stopped, picked myself up off the proverbial floor, and dusted my shoulders off. If we don’t keep going, if we don’t keep fighting, then it will take much longer than 75 years to get there.

And while it may take 75 years for the entire world to catch up, I can work on my small corner right now. And that progress will build and build, and combine with progress others are making in their small corners. And it WILL be worth it.


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